Retirement Party: Round 2

At the beginning of this year, I held a little Retirement Party for a few of my handmade garments who had seen their last wear.  Some more of my clothes are about to meet the same fate.  It's hard to let go of clothing in general, when we often associate what we were wearing with certain memories and seasons, and we become quite attached.  For me, these are even a little bit harder, since in addition to the normal attachments, I also made all these with my own two hands.  But these aren't being permanently discarded!  No, they are only going to live in a box on my closet shelf, within easy reach to get that back down should I decide I want to wear them again, or just bask in some familiar memories.

To my Paisley Blouse:  It's not you, it's me.  Oh, it's completely me.  I tried you on once when you were being made and saw you were too big, so I decided to just take in a couple inches on each side.  Without measuring.  No surprise here that you turned out too small.  I tried to wear you anyway, just without breathing all day, but now your buttons are falling apart.  You poor dear!  I've destroyed you with my too-big ribcage.  I'm sorry for that.  I hope you find peace in your next life on the closet shelf.

To my Sunny Sundress:  I never thought I would be able to say this in my entire life, but...my boobs are too big for you.  It's true!  I can hardly believe it!  You can't contain them!  As hard as it is to believe, it's a fact, and therefore, you must be retired.  Maybe someday you can be passed on to someone even flatter-chested than me.  If that person even exists.

To my Snazzy Vest:  Just look at you, being all jazzy.  I can't wear you without feeling like I'm either in Cabaret or on a catering crew, no matter what I attempt to pair you with.  You will never be forgotten, though, as you are the first garment I ever made a lining on, ever!  Thanks for your contribution to my sewing expertise.  Auf Wiedersehen.

To my Sound of Music Skirt:  Like so many before you in this blog post, you no longer fit me.  Either I grew or you shrunk, or maybe some combination of both, but either way...I'm letting you go.  It sounds like I'm firing you rather than letting you retire, but that's not the case.  Since you're nicely made and rarely worn, I think I may even donate you rather than make you live in the box on the closet shelf.  You are set free!

To my Ruffle Front Dress(Remember how I gave you a zipper that was too short and I always have to become a master contortionist to get into you?  Turns out, Vanessa is not as bendy as I am.  Couldn't even get you on her!)  I have worn you so many times, through every season, with boots and heels and tights and flats, with cardigans and blazers and all different belts.  You have been so good to me.  I still love you, I just don't like you anymore.  I hope this makes sense to you.  Good-bye, my darling.

To my Grey Checkered Dress:  You still fit, you're made well, and since you're a neutral, you go with a lot of stuff.  I'm frankly just tired of wearing you.  Consider this retirement as only temporary, as you are going into the box, but may very well come back out at some point.  So this isn't good-bye necessarily, but more like a "see you later!"

Good-bye to you all!  Nice wearing you!



  2. That's a nifty idea! For my part, I have a couple of dress shirts and khakis that are rearing to go, if not for me still hoping that I'd fit them someday! But just think that other people would also come to love and enjoy wearing them.