Retirement Party

I keep the clothes that I have made and the clothes that I have bought in separate closets.  Sort of unpractical, I know, but I do this so that I always look at the clothes that I have made first, and try to draw as many outfits as I can from that closet.

And I cherish the clothes that I have made, because I worked hard on them, and they all hold memories.  But sometimes, some of these clothes just have to go.  I shouldn't wear something just because I made it if it has something else glaringly wrong with it!  So, this week, I had a little retirement party for a few particular pieces.  They have been good to me, but it is just their time to say good-bye.*  Please join me as I raise a glass and toast each one for their stellar (but no longer needed) performances.

To my Patchwork Dress:  You're pretty cute!  And I made you all in about 8 hours, in the middle of the night, in a wild fury of inspiration, using scraps from all my different projects.  The problem is, I've only worn you once (to one of my bridal showers), and in the two years since then, I've had a lot of trouble finding another occasion to wear you.  So here's to you, my one hit wonder.  I still think you're cute.

To my Little House on the Prairie shirt:  When I made you, I thought my mix of a floral with striped seersucker was pure genius.  You did turn out pretty well, but I can't ever figure out a good time to wear you.  You look weird with all my skirts and work pants, and when I wear you with jeans, I feel like I am an extra in a Western movie.  So, I'm sorry, my sweet little top, but to the retirement bin you must go.  Cheers!

To my Mash-Up Skirt:  You were a good idea, in theory, but in execution, you sadly just don't really work.  You just don't fit right, and you don't really go with anything.  Thank you for your valiant effort, though, and helping me get through Self-Stiched September!  My glass is raised to you, my Frankenstein. 

To my Child's Jumper:  The thing is, you look like a sack.  I'm sorry, but the truth must be told.  I do like you with a belt, but I find it extremely hard to find something that looks good worn either under you or over you.  And for some reason, I chose to give you green buttons, which basically means it is impossible to match you with anything else.  I will always love you for being the first thing I made back when I began my re-foray into sewing garments in 2007, but it's time for retirement.  I will always think of you fondly!

To my purple pencil dress:  See how wrinkled you look in this picture?  Yeah, you look like that all the time.  It is literally impossible to keep you smooth.  Thus, you have got to go.  It's my fault really, for making a dress like this out of 100% cotton, so don't blame yourself.  Your instant wrinkle factor (and also your kind of weird sleeves...did I draft those myself or something?) has taken you out of the game, forever.  Au revoir!

To my Cropped Wool Pants:  You've been a staple.  You've real been there for me.  I appreciate all your hard work.  But you wrinkle in strange places (ahem, crotch) and my calves are apparently too big for you, because you always get weirdly stuck on them, and it is bothersome.  But fear not!  I am working on your replacement right now!  Same exact fabric, better made pants.  So you, my friend, will have to retire, but your spirit will live on in this second incarnation!  My best to you!

*  It's time to say good-bye, yes, but they aren't going far!  I could never bear to throw any of these away, so they are just retiring to a bin on a shelf above my closet, where they will have a warm and happy little existence...and I may pull them out of retirement at some point if I ever need them :)


  1. oh my goodness you are so funny! I was going to beg you to keep the floral shirt and just add an elastic waist band at the bottom. I have a shirt almost identical to it ( granted, I've only worn it once)...But it'll be cute with flare jeans ! haha...glad to see that I'm not the only one who messes up on things they've sewed

  2. I swear I was laughing, admiring, and enjoying everything about this post! Seriously, holy crap I loved it. And goodbye clothes!!! I'm so glad you're keeping them though. Each piece you make needs to be kept and passed on to future daughters, nieces, granddaughters, etc. Then they can continue to add on to the memory book from your momma!

    Peace out has been attire!

  3. This was hilarious to read. Those are all awesome pieces, even though it's time to say goodbye :) You have such talent!

  4. I loved this post! It made me smile and giggle the whole time I was reading them! I love your humor, and I actually love all the things you made and are retiring, but sometimes you have to get rid of things if you no longer wear them, so I understand completely! I'm glad you are keeping them, and I can't wait to see the replacement wool pants!


  5. even though you've retired the patchwork dress, i will forever remember the 3 am video you made after you completed it. it. was. hilarious.

  6. I love all of these, especially the patchwork. Instead of retiring these, I say you make a giveaway out of it! Just a thought from a girl who needs something you made in her closet...;-)


  8. You are funny. And, you should make that purple pencil dress again, in a non-wrinkly fabric this time. It's so cute.