On Women Being Friends with Women

Last night I watched Monday's episode of The Bachelor (I know, I know, I can't believe I can wait two entire days before watching either!).  However, as I watched, I felt a little bit sickened.

At the cocktail party before the rose ceremony, the group of girls were surprised with an outside woman who wanted a chance to date Ben too.  We watched as all these women lost their minds and proceeded to insult and tear down the new girl.  Among many other things, she was called "uglier in person," "a loser," "leftovers," and one woman even said, "At least her thighs are bigger than mine."

My heart aches to hear those things coming from women's mouths in reference to other women.  Daughters of God saying those things about other Daughters.

I feel convicted to say this:  we are all on the same team.

1 Peter tells us to love each other deeply, because love covers a multitude of sins.  Romans tells us to hate what is evil and to cling to what is good.  Colossians tells us to clothe ourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience and to put on love, which binds all these virtues together in perfect unity.  Hebrews tells us to encourage one another day after day.

Proverbs tells us the kind of woman that we should strive to be: 
"A good woman is hard to find,
   and worth far more than diamonds.
She always faces tomorrow with a smile.
When she speaks she has something worthwhile to say,
   and she always says it kindly.
Charm can mislead and beauty soon fades.
   The woman to be admired and praised
   is the woman who lives in the Fear-of-God." 
(excerpts from Proverbs 31, The Message)

We are all striving to be the best woman (daughter, sister, friend, girlfriend, wife, mother) we can possibly be - the one God intends us to be.  We're all women.  Let's be on the same team, pushing each other toward the same goals, instead of enemies, tearing each other down.  Let's not say, "Your thighs are fatter than mine;" let's say, "That color looks great on you!"  Let's encourage each other daily in our efforts to become that ideal woman.  Let's love each other deeply and lift each other up.  Let's cling to what is good and show each other what that is.  Let's be compassionate, kind, humble, gentle, patient, and loving to each other as we strive to reflect God's image of us. 

Who would have thought I would have been reminded and humbled by and broken by all these things while laying on the couch, eating chocolate-covered pretzels, watching a reality dating show.  I needed the reminder.  God works in mysterious ways <--- understatement.


  1. Wow! That is so true! Sometimes I find it difficult to watch reality TV shows for this same reason. Thanks for this uplifting and encouraging post! :)

  2. spoken so well - thank you for this! and thanks to the bachelor for its unexpected message.

  3. Thanks, Valerie! I have long followed your blog for the gorgeous sewing, but I really appreciate your thoughts today. "We are all on the same team." Good reminder.

  4. I may read this every day for the rest of my life! It's beautifully said.

  5. I could not agree with Anonymous more. I kind of want to copy and paste it to my mirror and read it everyday when I get ready. Great job, as always Val. I'm so blessed to call you friend, and be on the same team with someone so awesome!

  6. Thank you. I loved this post.